One of my sorority sisters and I had prepared this duet thing for a fundraiser that our choir is doing. We had to audition it, but due to both of us being various stages of sick the past couple weeks, we didn't get much time to rehearse. We figured that there wouldn't be many people audition to do something and it would be a breeze, but boy were we wrong. People went all out. So our half-finished duet didn't make the cut. It probably would hurt less if we hadn't wrote the harmonies for it but it was a learning experience.
I feel really bad for my sister. I could tell when we were talking about it that she's never really failed an audition before. She's always been one of the best singers around, but here at UC that isn't really the case and she's not quite sure how to handle it. We aren't voice majors - she's in biology and I'm in history- but the many of the people in Cabaret are good enough to be voice majors. It's just... I don't know. My HS choir director was not exactly tactful if you failed an audition or if he didn't want you in his auditioned choirs. I know this for a fact. He blocked me out of the entire choir program my junior and senior years. I'm long over being hurt by it (ok that's a major lie) but I'm used to failure. As much as anyone can be used to failure, I guess.
My relationship with music is a complex one. It's kind of hard to explain. Both of my parents are singers, not by trade, but my dad was heavily involved in musicals in HS and was in CCM groups (the then equivalent of Chamber singers) back in his day and my mom has an amazing soprano voice. My brother is a decent singer, but he had perfect pitch and was an incredible violinist (and he never practiced). I feel so lacking compared to them. It's not like I suck or anything, but I'm not really anything to be remembered. Yes, I can read music. I can even play the violin some. Singing though... I just always feel like I don't deserve to be here, singing in this group surrounded by all these amazingly talented people who've all had voice lessons and been cast in musicals and have definitely never been told by their HS choir director that they should just quit singing.
He got fired from his job at my high school too. I may have smiled over it but I'll deny it if you ask. It's funny because he now has a job with the CCM prep department as the director of the young men's choir. I ran into him at Feast and he only remembered me when I fell down. Says something about high school me, doesn't it?
